A year to the day that the United States shut down, I was able to get my vaccine. As I reflect on this past year, I wanted to share what I learned from living through a pandemic.
Selflessness. If I could wrap up this year in one word, that’d be it. We have given up so many things we do as a family in order to stop the spread and do our part. I’ve watched people post the rudest, most insensitive, ignorant things about the virus, completely disregarding the over 530,000 victims who have died from this pandemic. That’s not even mentioning the millions who have contracted it and are now living with horrible side effects.
My family and I decided right away we weren’t going to be part of the problem, and this meant a ton of hard decisions. This meant making sacrifices for the greater good. This meant not being selfish.
As you know, I’m an educator, and schools shut down for two weeks last March 13. I was actually on a personal day, my kids had an in-service day, and my husband was on his relief days. I spent the day with my whole family buying items for our first camping trip scheduled on April 4. We had just purchased a camper in February. It was a really nice day, picking things to make the camper a home away from home. We rarely got to spend the whole day together because of our schedules. Little did I know how much time we’d really be spending as a family.
We made our regular trip to Sam’s Club, luckily purchasing our typical refill of toilet paper and paper towels, having no clue we would frantically be looking for these items a few weeks later with no luck. After picking out a lot of camping necessities at Walmart, around 2:45 PM, the kids started getting cranky, but we still needed to get groceries. We agreed to take them home and I’d run back in and shop by myself in order to prevent any meltdowns. At 3:30, I got the news that we were shutting down. I went back to the store shortly after, only to find the shelves were nearly bare. I called my husband in a mild panic, thinking this was just ridiculous and people were overreacting. He advised me to get some frozen foods and canned goods, so I grabbed the few items I could find and headed home.
At the beginning of the shut down, I continued to go to church practice, singing for the recorded sessions the rest of the congregation would watch from home. Then I read about the Seattle choir spreading the virus like wildfire, and I chose to take a step back. We didn’t know much about the virus, and the more information we learned, it made me more frightened. I was then afraid to touch things. We stopped visiting family. Our camping trips were all cancelled. Dance recitals were called off. School closures were extended and then finalized for the remainder of the year. We were permitted to work from home, which was unheard of, so I thought this really is bad.
Luckily the weather was beautiful, permitting outdoor visits, but we were all still so frightful of touching things and getting too close. Not knowing how the virus was transmitted, we didn’t want to take chances. We even wiped off our groceries from the store with lysol wipes.
Softball and baseball season were right around the corner, and I talked to our pediatrician (I trust him with my kids’ lives. He’s amazing.), and he said with my son’s breathing concerns and asthmatic issues, we didn’t know enough about the virus and recommended we take a year off. He assured me they’d be fine missing a season of activities and told us to just spend a lot of time outside, which we already do.
I allowed my daughter to continue horse lessons and my son to do outdoor tennis while keeping a distance from others, but once the weather forced these activities inside, we chose to stop them. We even chose to cancel our annual family beach trip, which was devastating. What was happening?
My husband still had to go to work, but I became a shut in. I was afraid of this virus, and I did not want any of my loved ones to get it. My first outing since March was in May to get flowers. It was an apocalyptic experience I’ll never forget. I was afraid to touch the cart or get near anyone. We all had masks on, and no one made eye contact. Talk about eerie.
I ended up having to go back into the office at the end of June. I slowly got over my fears as I integrated myself back into a little bit of normal, working with my secretaries. We stayed in our own spaces for the most part, but we still weren’t sure how the virus was transmitted. We had to make so many decisions about opening school, and I also had to make the best decision for my children. Knowing what other districts’ plans looked like, I did not feel comfortable sending my kids to an environment where they would not be socially distanced. I understand they would be masked and precautionary measures would be taken, but I also still know the virus could spread in schools. Yes, most kids who have gotten it show little to no symptoms, but we had the ability to keep our kids home with our schedules, so we decided that it’d be better to be safe than sorry. We unenrolled our kids and decided to homeschool them. My husband is amazing and did most of the teaching during the day. I took over ELA, music, and art in the evenings. We sacrificed our sanity, energy, and free time in order to educate our kids in a safe environment. Eventually, our kids’ school district offered a fully virtual option, to which we chose to move them. That has lifted a lot of burden off of our teaching plates, allowing us to be facilitators of their learning instead.
Because we weren’t sending our kids to school, we opted to let our daughter take her dance classes via Zoom. There were a lot of tears over this. She wanted to be with her friends. She also understood that we opt for the safer options when we can. I explained that it isn’t forever, but it’s what we would do to keep her safe. My parents still help us out with watching the kids because my husband’s and my work schedules overlap. I felt it was our duty to keep them as healthy as possible by not exposing our kids any more than needed. My husband and I were already exposed quite a bit with our jobs. Why add the extra risk?
We were still able to see friends outdoors, but when the winter months hit, it became lonely. My kids were sad. They wanted to have play dates. We were finding out more about the virus, and we knew it was transmitted through the air, so masking was to help this. Many people don’t wear masks indoors, even when not with their families, so I didn’t feel comfortable sending my kids someplace they wouldn’t mask. Because my son wasn’t playing tennis, we allowed him to start piano lessons. Thankfully my daughter’s teacher was willing to try it via Zoom with my daughter assisting. It’s been a great activity for him while he was cooped up all winter. My daughter continued her virtual piano and cello lessons, too. We were still invited to parties throughout the winter months, and I declined every invite. Some people didn’t understand—but I didn’t understand their ignorance. My really good friends have the same mindset as I do and understand why I’ve been MIA. They, too, have chosen to stop the spread. Thank goodness for technology during this time. We’ve sacrificed trips to visit my husband’s family, visits with my parents, visits with my brother in another state, and overall seeing friends.
What would I say I learned overall from this pandemic? I learned who my real friends are. I learned that in order to help others, we must be willing to give up things for ourselves. I learned that people have no idea what freedoms and rights are. I learned that our country is full of selfishness. I learned that I want to be better than that. I learned that wearing a mask is not the end of the world. I learned that we made it through this far, and we will continue to make it through until herd immunity takes over. I learned that my children have hearts as big as the world. I learned that children are ridiculously resilient. I learned that my children are the best of friends. I learned that my 9 year old still loves to snuggle. I learned how to play Pokémon. I learned that stress eating will add 20 pounds. I learned I can’t lose weight like I used to. I learned it’s ok to stand up for what you believe is right, no matter if you’re in the minority. I learned that as long as I’m doing my best, it’ll be ok. I learned I have the best, most supportive husband. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that my family and I are a ridiculously strong unit. I learned that giving is better than receiving. I learned that small sacrifices are worth every bit if they can save even one person.
