If you ask a child their definition of productivity, their answers would sound something like beating King Koopa in Mario, eating every flavor jelly belly in one sitting, cuddling with their loved ones, or having boxed mac and cheese for dinner. Sure, we have responsibilities in our adult lives, but when’s the last time we taste-tested every jelly belly flavor one by one, guessing every flavor without looking?
Kids don’t list stress, depression, anxiety, success, or isolation as measures of productivity. They don’t even question their happiness or definition of success. So why do we? When did we cross that threshold that told us to stop trying to conquer the lava at the castle?
Looking through the eyes of a seven year old really makes my perspective on life come alive. I used to think that if things didn’t get done right away or weren’t absolutely perfect then I was a failure and unproductive. As a mom, I have learned that kids are resilient, and they have taught me so much. My son regularly asks me deep questions. I’m talking deep, spiritual, what’s the meaning of life questions.
When I review past conversations with him in my mind, I realize his curiosities are what make him accept his surroundings, understand what is going on, and move forward every day with a joyful heart. During the pandemic, we’ve spent a lot (A LOT) of time together where I’ve gotten the chances to actually observe him. I mean really look at him playing, thinking, pondering, accepting, struggling, but most of all loving.
The kid loves all things. He doesn’t ask questions to be nosy. He legitimately wants to know what’s going on so he can understand. So he can grow. So he can be productive. I can’t recall a time I’ve been as curious as he is except as a tween when the latest middle school rumors were hot off the press.
As adults, when do we take a step back and really investigate why things are the way they are? If we weren’t as productive as we had hoped we’d be, we are so quick to push failure to the forefront instead of digging deep into our hearts to ask more questions.
What are my dreams and goals? Is my career the end game for me? Am I happy? Am I ok being comfortable? But what does comfortable even mean? How can I make a change? Do I want to make a change? Why aren’t I succeeding? What is success? What is my definition of productive? If I’m not reaching it, what can I do?
Seven year olds don’t second guess anything. They contemplate an obstacle, scratch their heads, and make a change. When there are things out of their control, they may shed a tear or two and emote a few lines, but at the end of the day, they’re just happy to be surrounded by the perfection they see when they look at you. Perhaps we need to look longer to pinpoint more perfections in our own surroundings, choices, and feelings.
We may have trouble accepting things, understanding where we are led, or fighting our deep down struggles. But next time we face these challenges, may we stare them head on like a seven year old ready to build a Lego pirate ship consisting of 1,042 pieces. There may be times we have to search for missing pieces. There may be times we get frustrated. There may be times we ask why we opened the box. But when we continuously push forward building, we get to the final masterpiece, which was worth every bit of the journey.
Now, say I destroy the pirate ship and tell you to rebuild it without following the directions step-by-step. Would you give up? Start from scratch, demonstrating your artistic liberties? Do you take a hard look and ask how you can build an even better ship that doesn’t follow what everyone else has done? If you make a change in your process, will there still be a masterpiece at the end? Perhaps it may even come out better than expected.
Productivity doesn’t mean following the instructions everyone else is following. It means choosing your own endpoint and asking yourself how you get there. And when you hit a roadblock, don’t just turn around and take a detour to a less desirable destination. Get out of your car, and climb over whatever is in your way.
What would your seven year old self say? I know my own seven year old would say, “What are you afraid of?” “Who cares if you don’t make it? You tried.” “Why are you so beautiful, Mama?”
Curiosity didn’t kill the cat; it gave it eight more lives.
Well said….eloquent and meaningful. Thank you . I will try to find my Seven year old self again!
It’s a struggle, but we can learn so much from kids! 🙂