*This is the blog I was going to post the night I found out I would no longer have a house cleaner that I mentioned in last week’s blog. I’ve made edits to explain how we’ll be dealing with that change.
So I often get asked, “How do you do it all?” and I just chuckle and say, “I don’t.” Do I have a lot of systems in place to be sure dinner is on the table, kids are at their activities, and I can find papers when I need them? Yes, but this does not mean I do everything by myself or that my life is this picture-perfect orderly magazine ad. There are so many things I have to give and take, especially since starting a business while being a working mom. It’s actually a little bit of insanity, but dreams don’t come true by themselves, right?
I looked around my house last night and said to TG, “How can I claim to help other people when our house looks like this right now?” Dance bags were in the foyer (for the dance competition I’m currently sitting at typing this right now), dishes needed to be washed, and a basket of laundry was sitting at the bottom of the steps. He looked at me and said, “If this is the worst thing going on in our lives right now, I’m perfectly fine with it.” And this is when I realize that we have it pretty together, and it doesn’t have to be (nor will it ever) be perfect.
Here’s the thing: I’m a working mom, have two busy kids, and am building a business. I cannot get everything done in 24 hours that needs to be done, so I have to give and take. My house is messy today, but I’m watching my sweet girl dance her heart out on stage, which takes first priority right now. We visited friends last night, which is important for us to have some social time. TG is busy in the workshop finishing our set up so we can mass produce products quicker, which is essential for us to fulfill orders more efficiently. I absolutely do not need to justify these things to anyone, and neither do you.
My kids have always had chores, starting when they were just toddlers. The chores were different back then. They may have just been expected to hang up their bath towel or put their toys in the bin with help, but by showing them their responsibilities early in life, they know that it is expected for them to help in ways they are able. Now that they are older, they both know how to do their laundry. I only help hang shirts for my son because he stretches the neck out with the hangers. They are also responsible for feeding the dogs, letting them out, and bathing them. When the dishwasher is clean, they empty it. They are also expected to load all dirty dishes they have. This one is a struggle for them as they never seem to be able to get the dish in the right spot or they leave the food they rinsed off in the sink and it’s stuck there. But they’re learning, and I gently remind them of how to do it properly if I’m there to witness it. If I’m not, I take the 30 seconds to fix it and am thankful they tried.
We used to have a house cleaner, but she is no longer with us, so we now have to add other responsibilities to everyone in order to go beyond the tidying of the house. On my kids’ chore charts, they will now have house cleaning duties added. The way we decide when someone will have a chore is by their schedules. For instance, Cali is at dance every night of the week, but on Tuesdays, she also has piano lessons. Wednesdays and Thursdays are her longest nights at dance, so this leaves Monday and Friday as the more open evenings. Because she is home longer on those days, she will get mopping the floor on Fridays. This coincides with TG’s night of vacuuming, which is Thursday. Cooper will dust on Wednesdays because he also has piano on Tuesdays. By dusting on Wednesday, vacuuming on Thursday, and mopping the floors on Friday, this prepares me for the rest of the house, which will be cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen appliances on the weekends.
We also work laundry into our schedules. Each person has a night they are assigned for laundry because that is a chore you need to be around for an extended time in order to complete. Laundry is the worst in my opinion. I’m going to do a blog in the future on how we make it a little less painful, but I just can’t love it, no matter what we try! Cali and I get the weekends for our laundry because we are usually at dance competitions all day Saturday, so Sunday is our day. Cooper and TG get the week because they aren’t typically gone for extended times in the evenings.
If you are looking for a way to organize your kids’ schedules and chores, check out my editable chore charts. I’m currently working on many more styles, including more mature ones for the whole family, so check back periodically!
Many people ask if we pay our kids for doing chores or if it’s just expected. I know there is a split audience with this topic, but we do pay our kids and here’s why. Not only do chores teach them responsibilities on what they’ll need to know in order to be successful adults, but they also teach them time management. Along with that, kids need to learn money management. We pay what they earn. Sometimes our kids go above and beyond what is expected of them and instead of giving them $5 for their weekly chores being complete, we pay them $10 or $15. They then know their money goes in three places: Give, Save, Spend. They have envelopes that separate their money, and when it comes time to do a Target run, for example, the kids grab their spend money and get to treat themselves to something special. TG and I do not buy them toys regularly. They know if they want something, they need to save their earnings.
Finally, I have a husband who doesn’t “help” around the house. He divides and conquers with me. We each have our things that drive each other nuts with housekeeping, but at the end of the day, our teamwork gets us through and takes it from survival mode to beast mode. If TG sees a pile of dishes I didn’t get to, he’ll wash them while I’m putting the kids to bed. If I am at a board meeting late, I’ll come home to the kids’ things put away and counters cleared off. If I know he’s working extra hours and doesn’t get to the overflowing garbage can, I’ll take the trash out. If I see that his laundry was in the dryer and needs to be folded, I’ll step in and finish that up. We are both extremely busy at work, and at the end of the day, our exhaustion is both mental and physical. Some days one of us is at a 2 and the other might be at a 9, so the 9 picks up the slack for the 2, and the favor is returned on another day when the roles are reversed. That’s a marriage. That’s a partnership. That’s teamwork.
At the end of the day, we can never do it all, but we can most certainly have systems in place that help us get a lot of it done. You may be the CEO of your household, but all good bosses delegate responsibilities to their colleagues and employees. You can’t run a successful business by yourself, and you certainly can’t do it at home. Look at what needs to be done, hold a family meeting, give responsibilities, and reward everyone involved. You’ll find yourself having less stress and becoming closer as a family because the work is done together, and that just makes everyone feel a bit better.
