Well, it finally happened after 12 years of motherhood. I missed an important event for one of my children. I can honestly say this has never happened before, and the feeling is terrible. This blog will talk about how to prevent this from happening and why it’s ok to put people’s messages on hold and not respond immediately.
I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach this past week because I totally dropped the mom ball. I frantically remembered on my way to pick up my son from his last Lego League meeting at 4:50 PM that I was supposed to be there at 4:40 PM to watch their skits. They worked all year on these and presented them at their competition last week, but parents couldn’t watch the judging. I realized what I had done on my way there and started driving too fast in hopes I wasn’t too late to catch his group.
Unfortunately, I didn’t make it in time. The look of disappointment on his face when I walked in knowing I had missed his presentation punched me in the gut harder than Mike Tyson’s fist. How could I have forgotten this important event?
Then I realized I had read the text message on my phone’s CarPlay while I was traveling for work. By doing this, I wasn’t able to put it in my calendar at the moment, and it took away the New Message bubble. I typically don’t read my messages until the end of the night when I am able to sit down and really respond with my full attention. And this is exactly why.
A lot of the texts I get are in groups for the kids’ activities, which typically involve important reminders, sign ups, or dates. When I read them during my busy day, I forget to sign up or put things in my calendar. I live by my calendar. It’s how I remember all of the things I have to do. And missing my son’s presentation is what I get for thinking I could listen to that message that one time and just remember to go early.
I did end up getting a recording of the presentation from another family (for which I’m very thankful!), and I did have a heart to heart with him about how sorry I was. He expressed his disappointment, and I owned my mistake. I can’t change what happened, but I can assure you that I will continue to leave my texts unread until I’m able to give my full attention in order to not have this mom guilt ever again.
We’re going to mess up, but we need to reflect on why we screwed up and make a plan to fix it. If you aren’t putting all of your activities in your calendar or you don’t have a system to track everything, you need to start. We don’t get do-overs. We need to set ourselves up for success as best as we possibly can. When we fail, we’ll give ourselves grace and forgiveness and hope our kiddos do, too, but we most importantly need to own it and be sure to reflect and improve. And if you ever send me a text and see it as “unread” for hours, know that it’s because I want to give you my full attention and be sure I get all of the information. Being available 24/7 can really be a burden, so just know my delay in response is because I care.
Here are three tips to keep an organized calendar that will prevent you from missing important dates.
1. Have a separate calendar for your personal and professional life. Whether you use two physical calendars, color-coded events, or two separate digital calendars, keeping your personal and professional lives separate will keep your mind free of excess event clutter.
2. Regularly review your calendar. Each night before bed, I review what is on both of my calendars for personal life and work. This helps me reset for the following day knowing what’s on my schedule. I then review it again in the morning, reminding myself of any important places I need to be or extra errands I need to run. Also, be sure you are updating your calendar as soon as you receive information about a new event. This is exactly what I didn’t do, which caused me to miss my son’s presentation.
3. Set reminders and alerts. If you are using a digital calendar, you can put these reminders in as soon as you enter your calendar event. They are extremely helpful, especially if you are involved in something else and lose track of time. You can set a warning and then a final reminder that you need to get moving for your next appointment. If you use a paper calendar, you can set and name a timer in the morning to go off as a reminder of your event.
These three simple steps will keep you organized and prevent missing important deadlines and events. Also, don’t be afraid to put others’ messages on hold if you know you don’t have the ability to give them your full attention to get all of the details. It’s better to have them wait and receive a solid answer than to hurry and give a poor response, causing you to also miss important details.
